One Word

On my right hand, on my crooked index finger, I wear two thin silver rings with words engraved on them.

After Dad died, when I was a single mother and Jessica was only four, life became more challenging. Dad had been solid, my cheerleader, my go-to person, the one who loved me most. During that hard time, the word faith became my one-word mantra. I wrote it on 3x5 index cards and kept them close by. That word pulled me out of a lot of ditches where I felt stuck, unsupported, or useless. It still does.

Although money was tight, when I found a booth at the Wisconsin State Fair where they engraved words on rings, I bought a ring with the word faith on it. Faith seemed a better choice for me than hope. I wanted to believe one hundred percent that things would get better, that Jessica would be healthy and happy, and that our lives would get easier. To me that would mean having a reliable car, a job that paid more than what childcare cost, and an apartment that was clean and safe.

When Jessica was almost a teen, I participated in a mini-triathlon (now called a sprint) in Peewaukee the day before applying for a job. It was raining during the race, making a downhill stretch difficult to navigate on bicycles. Many people decided to walk down instead of ride. Already toward the back of the pack, I gripped my handlebars, leaned forward, and stayed on track, surprising even myself when I reached the bottom still upright.

Gary, the gentleman at the front desk of the club where I was applying for the job, kept me talking. When I mentioned the Tri, he made a quick call, then sent me downstairs to meet Keith, one of the club’s owners. Turns out Keith had watched that event because he lived in the area. He liked the fact that I’d ridden my bike down the treacherous hill.

I worked at that club for the next 15 years, and during that time purchased another ring that said courage. I felt I needed to be more courageous. Men dominated the fitness field in those days; women weren't even supposed to sweat back then. (Jane Fonda was just starting to change that!) I’d already dropped out of college due to the stress of unaffordable childcare costs and cars that repeatedly broke down. I knew it would take courage to stay in the relatively new field of fitness for women.

Not everyone likes to make New Year's resolutions, but one-word mantras are different. Instead of trying to predict what we’ll do or not do in the new year, how about choosing one word, the way I chose faith and courage?

For example, focusing on the word peace day after day may bring some into our life, or better yet, to the world. Choosing the word peace could be a reminder to take a few deep breaths and slowly release any tension we’re holding.

Or listen. There’s a reason we have two ears and only one mouth. Listening to our friends, family, and clients before speaking is a crucial skill. Listening without forming an immediate response in our head is an art. Truly listening and then reflecting on what we hear acknowledges the other person’s feelings and can help clarify what we think we’re hearing.

Focus: Staying in the game and not racing ahead to the finish. Being aware of where our mind is, one step or one project at a time. Bettering our focus isn’t easy, but what would the new year look like if we did?

Choosing just one word as an intention for 2024 isn’t as overwhelming as a long list of things we want to accomplish, habits we want to change, or what we want to prioritize.

I still wear my rings with the words faith and courage, but I’m ready to add a new one. The choices seem limitless: unity, balance, freedom, abundance, serenity, gratitude, trust, joy, move, inspire . . .

Choosing one word is simpler than vowing to lose 50 pounds, save 50 dollars a week, or finish your first marathon.

Brave, imagine, compassion, grace, assert, explore, flow, heal, harmony, growth . . .

What matters about one-word mantras is their importance to you. When I was a young single parent, faith helped me soldier through the worst of times. Later, the word courage reminded me to stand tall, hold my head up, and keep going.

You don’t have to have your word engraved on a ring. You could just write it on a Post-it note and stick it to your mirror or dashboard. If you love to paint, you may want to paint your word and frame it, or cut up an old magazine and make a collage about it. A friend wears her word on a charm bracelet.

I’m considering painting mine on the back of my clunker of a car. I’m no longer in a position where I need to pay for childcare, and thankfully I have a home I adore. However, my car is an oil-sucking time bomb. But I understand that two out of three isn’t horrible. Maybe this year I'll choose the word gratitude.