A Time For Joy

A Time for Joy

Nine of us gather at a round table. Black spongy tiles with phrases printed in white are heaped in the middle of the table. Some of us are drinking tea, most coffee. The cherry-filled fry pies are a hit! I’m one of many volunteers at A Time for Joy, an adult respite program.

Respite gives the caretakers of people living with dementia time to do their shopping, sit in the sun, read a book, or go to lunch with friends. Meanwhile, their loved one is safe and interacting with others, enjoying music and singing, a healthy home-cooked lunch, and plenty of games. Elderly folks who are isolated or lonely can also participate. Today I’ll be leading an exercise segment before lunch.

The conversation centers around baking pies, whose turn it is, and the incomplete sayings on the tiles: “is never done,” “Every cloud has,” “on the other side.” The objective is to find the matches and complete the sayings. When it’s Bill’s turn, Meg, knowing he has a match, encourages him to read his tiles. With help, he picks up the tile “is never done” and places it next to “A woman’s work.”

I remember helping my sister, Jill, play bingo at the Waterford memory care center. Jill didn’t understand how the game worked. She pressed her fingers onto the numbers being called and would try to eat the corn instead of using it as a marker.

A Time for Joy is offered every Wednesday from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. at Immanuel Lutheran Church. The program director, Savannah Frei, greeted me warmly when I walked in this morning and joined the folks sitting at the table playing the word game.

Watching Meg work with Bill, I can see how this enrichment program would have benefited Jill before she became too sick. It would have been a lifeline for her partner, Jim, and her daughter, Sam, both worn out from caretaking.

If trends follow national projections from the Alzheimer’s Association, the number of people with this disease will double over the next 30 years. By 2050, that number could rise to 13 million.

Today, Savannah has hidden a golden egg, and whoever finds it will win a prize. We abandon the word game to search for the egg. “Are you sure it’s in this room?” “Maybe it’s up near the ceiling fans.” “Is it in a basket with other eggs?” It’s hard to distinguish the volunteers from the participants as everyone works together to find the egg. When we tire of looking, Savannah tells us the egg is out in the open and that she can see it, but we still can’t!

Last week at my brother’s memory care home in Oconomowoc, Jack wouldn’t even talk to the people involved in games. He only wanted me to get him out of there. A Time for Joy is best suited for people with mild dementia-related disease and those who would benefit from social interactions. Jack’s advanced disease means he’s not a candidate for this program.

Tom helps Peggy place her tile, “The grass is always greener,” next to “on the other side,” as we nod and grin. Then it’s time for exercise. With our feet, we create a soft rain noise, eventually leading into a pounding thunderstorm as we stomp and clap. Next, pretending we have dish rags, we wipe the table with both hands, circling them from side to side, laughing as we tap our neighbor's hand, and giving ourselves a robust upper body workout.

When we return to the game, Janet helps Owen place “Every Cloud” in front of the tile “has a silver lining.” A Time for Joy is a silver lining in a cloudy situation.

There’s no rushing at A Time for Joy, whether exercising or playing games. We pause as someone tells a story about working on tobacco back in the day or shares the recipe for their pie that took first place at the fair.

Claire, another volunteer, tells me about Jerry, who attended for the first time last week and never said a word. Yet, when his family member came to pick him up, he chirped, “Today was a good day.” Claire smiles and sighs as she places her hands over her heart.

As a volunteer and someone who lost her sister to Alzheimer’s and is losing her brother, my heart fills with gratitude that our community offers this program for people with dementia and their caregivers.

Driving home, I wonder who found the golden egg.

(For more information about A Time for Joy, contact Savannah Frei at 608-636-3983.)